Opinion

Is Endor off Highway 421?
Viewpoint
John Starling
Features Editor

Warning. Failure to understand sarcasm may result in a tragic misinterpretation of this opinion (and I emphasize opinion) article. Since most of you out there haven't even the slightest comprehension of such a device, I warn you not to read any further, as you may become enraged for absolutely no reason at all. If you do get pissed anyway, it won't be anything new. The characters in this piece have been left intentionally ambiguous so you can think for a change. This story is just another blatant attempt to cash in on the Star Wars revival, so, if you can take it, kick back and enjoy.

"A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away:"

Star Wars isn't so long ago or as far away as I once thought. After spending the better part of two years at this institution (mental, educational, financial depending on your perspective), I have finally realized that there are those out there who view this school as nothing more than a little galaxy. It's got its own sinister Galactic Empire and even a nifty little Rebel Alliance. Hell, at this point in the year it even feels like Hoth outside. (That's the ice planet from The Empire Strikes Back in case you don't know.)

As in the movie, it's pretty cool to hate the Empire in our neck of the woods. You have to be on the lookout for the Stormtroopers who of course never do what they're supposed to (uphold some semblance of order) but pillage and violate our personal business. But they're not the ones most people are concerned with.

Let's shift our attention to Lord Darth Vader. Through the whole trilogy, I can't remember a single instance where this character did something so tyrannical that I absolutely hated him. We do discover at the end that, despite our dark perception of him, he really is a good guy, with plenty of the Force left in him. Screw the Dark Side

Of course every tyrant has to have his squad of goons. There are those admirals and whatnot that follow the Dark Lord's every whim, though in the movies all I can remember him doing is find Luke Skywalker, speed up work on the Death Star and catch the Millenium Falcon. That's a whole lotta bad stuff, huh guys?

But in spite of this seemingly gentile work, there is a rebellion, constantly bickering over what action to take against the Empire depending on what faction they represent. There's people like the Bothan spies who seem to think that everything that goes on on this campus is their priority to know about. And they somehow find stuff to mess with. Who knows, they might find plans to blow up our Death Star yet. I also have yet to figure out what the hell they were rebelling about in the first place.

Then there's the main characters like Han Solo. He talks a good fight and look good to everyone but what does he really do throughout the whole series? Nothing.

Sure he comes up from behind to save Luke from Darth Vader (something Luke could have probably managed on his own), but he eventually gets frozen in carbonite and can't do anything for a while. What a great hero.

Let's not forget the friend that Han was awfully suspicious of for no reason at all: Lando Calrissian. This is a particularly important character in our little galaxy because he's the only one of his kind: an ethnic character in outer space. What a crock. Lando is so crucial to the whole story. Let's no forget that he was one of the primary organizers in saving Han's ass from the "clutches of the vile gangster, Jabba the Hut." The whole rebellion might not have been necessary if they'd had more brothers in space. Lando knew how to take care of business. It only took one movie with him as a primary contributor to the Rebellion for the Empire to crumble. How bout that?

C3-PO is representative of any educated class. He knows his stuff but he ends up talking over everyone else's heads and has a hard time getting any attention until he gets blown to pieces.

Luke and Leia are typical fortunate white kids. They have to be the ones in charge and want to be loved by everyone (or so we like to think). Their freakin' twins for god's sake. No wonder no one else understands.

We even have Wookies among us like Chewbacca. They are big hairy oafs that seem to mutter in gibberish and are only good at working with their hands. Chewbacca, as an example of all Wookies, was a brave and ingenious motha. Wookies do have something worthwhile to contribute to the Rebellion.

R2D2 represents the rest of us. We're saying something but who really understands?

This whole metaphor ends, just like the movie, with the realization that this is all just a fantasy. We're not in a galaxy a long time ago or far away. We're in Boone, North Carolina in an environment that eerily resembles Endor, home of the Ewoks, a peaceful race who never hurt anyone. It'd be nice if we were more like them for a change. That'll happen alright. And I've got the Death Star in my backyard at home. We're human beings and we have some sort of deep-seated need to feel like we're doing something worthwhile when there's nothing worth doing. It's always better to fight something than someone, which is what ends up happening when there's nothing better out there. Get a cause, not an effigy you morons.

By the way, despite the wisdom I've shared, I'm not Yoda.

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Hate the sin, love the sinner
Eric Thomas
Columnist

Last week, I was sitting in the Student Union eating my lunch when a gentleman from Campus Crusade for Christ International approached me to conduct a survey on a session they were sponsoring.

This man was not just a member of the group, he was the advisor, and as such was the spiritual leader of the group. When it became apparent to the gentleman that he and I had differing views on an issue that is a religious “hot potato,” he told me that I was not only wrong, but bound for Hell.

He continued stating his views, and ended with blatantly telling me that if I decided to change and truly be saved, I was welcome to join CCCI, but otherwise was unwelcome in the group. Having discussed salvation with my minister previously, I am confident that I have already accepted Jesus Christ.

Disclosing the issue would only serve to cloud the point of this article: who is and is not welcome at some religious functions. Where do we, as the body of Christ, draw the authority to demand that all participants in our services be living sinless lives?

Should we, for example, approach alcoholics with the message that they are only welcome in our service after they have quit drinking? God forbid. Then we get to the issue of who is responsible for determining what sins we can permit church attendants to commit before declaring them unwelcome.

Do we draw the line at speeding, or at using the office copier for personal work? As you can see, this is not only difficult, but it has no Biblical basis whatsoever.

Christ stated specifically in Matthew 9:12, “They that be whole need not a physician, but they that are sick.” Does it not border on blasphemy to call ourselves Christians and not fulfill His command to go into the highways and hedges and compel them to come in (Luke 14:23)?

We must depend on the Holy Spirit to bring people under conviction for whatever their individual sins may be, and not use those sins as a basis for discrimination in God’s house.

When we begin to dictate who is and who is not welcome in the church, the facility can no longer be called the “House of God,” for we have taken God out of the equation and are running the operation ourselves.

At this point, we begin to take our eyes off God and put them on the worship leader or on religious doctrine. When this is done, we should put the name “Ichabod” over the door because the Glory of God has departed.

Had the advisor been rejecting someone’s request to stand behind the Sacred Desk without God’s calling, I would certainly understand.

Had he been rejecting a request to use the facilities for something other than the purpose for which they were built and dedicated, I would back him fully. What he was rejecting, however, was a creation of God who was being moved by the Holy Spirit to unite with other Christians. These actions do not appear to be Christian in nature, much less the actions of a man of God.

It is my sincere hope that the view of the entire organization is not reflected by the position of this one advisor. Any organization that holds this view would only serve as a “museum for the saints” and not a “hospital for the sinners.”

What purpose should our missions serve if not to reach out to those who need help and lead them to Christ? Is our work to be done with love and genuine care, or are these ideas mere lip service and we Pharisaical hypocrites?

We, as Christians, must examine ourselves to see what prejudices we hold and why. As James tells us in James 2:1-13, we shall receive judgment without mercy if we are respecters of persons in the church.

There has to be a reconciling with God and a putting aside of whatever bias we have that makes us say, “This is OUR church and we will do it the way WE want.” May God have mercy on our souls if we ever utter these words. We, as the body, must be about the Master’s business with genuine love, not vain words.

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Our Opinion...

Many voices, one newspaper

Here at The Appalachian, the Editorial staff has been repeatedly criticized for not representing the diversity of views on this campus.

To try to approach this "problem" we held a student media forum at the beginning of the year and not ONE person showed up that wasn't on the staff or the radio station staff. How can we know what readers think unless we hear from them?

Last semester we also conducted phone surveys about the campus media with tons of help from 90.5, The APP's staff. According to the hundreds of students we called, most liked the newspaper and thought we were doing a good job. The students who did have complaints were direct in telling us what they were. We have and are continuing to improve accordingly.

While we welcome criticism and promote discussion and a variety of views, we feel that students need to realize that we are a “student” newspaper.

The Editorial board tries to provide a forum for student views and how issues (national and local) affect our lives as temporary residents here at Appalachian.

Our staff itself is very diverse. Geographically we hail from locations from as far away as Venezuela all the way to New Jersey.

We range in age from 18 year-old freshmen to a 25 year-old veteran.

Politically we range from an avowed communist to a libertarian.

Most of us aren't communication majors, in fact, we are English, history, business, and education majors just to name a few.

While, as students have pointed out, we are not The New York Times, we have never claimed to be. We do however, try to provide the student body with well-written, well-researched and interesting articles and columns.

Throughout virtually every issue of The Appalachian, there are “fake” ads soliciting students to become involved. When we create these to fill space we don't purposely leave out any groups. In fact, we often advertise groups none of us belong to.

Any individual on this campus is welcome to become involved in our newspaper, either through photography, writing, copy-editing or layout.

People who complain about the lack of diversity should do something about it; mainly, become involved. We can't employ people from all backgrounds to write unless they show an interest in doing so.

Something people don't seem to understand is that the students writing in the Opinion section are doing just that. Expressing THEIR opinion.

The coverage of stories and events in the Etc. section are products of ideas presented by students and prior knowledge to an upcoming event. We can't exactly cover events that we don't know anything about.

To coin a phrase from last semester’s “Great Conspiracy Theory” series, there is no conspiracy in decisions made as to what is covered and what is not.

We welcome Letters to the Editor and wholeheartedly encourage members of the Appalachian community to become more involved with THEIR newspaper.

One last thing, thanks to those who do give us feedback, both positive and negative. Without your input we may not know which direction to take toward improvement.

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E-mail The Appalachian Online at theapp@conrad.appstate.edu