March 18, 1997

Just who is this Howard Stern anyway?
Jeff Sprouse
Staff Writer

These Chalet seats sag, sliding my butt to the crusty brown floor. The musty curtain that covers the cinder block wall has a strange texture, probably due to years of people, hidden by the darkness of a terrible movie, who deposit their boogers there.

Below the puny screen is what looks like a '67 Chevy Impala under a blue tarp.

Across the aisle is Joe, whose name I know from the name tag sewn on his blue and white service station jump suit, and his buddy **ithead, whose name I caught from eavesdropping on a heated conversation. They have their feet up and their hands tucked in their waistlines.

The row behind me is filled with loud mouthed women and their dates. Thank God they're behind me, because if they had sat within three rows ahead, my movie- going experience, already in serious jeopardy, would have been hampered even more by their big heads and even bigger hair. A bottle rolls down the graded floor and rests at my feet.

"Why did we come here? I don't even know who Howard Stern is! We shoulda saw Dante's Peak," says one of the louder women. I agree, they shoulda saw Dante's Peak.

"Yeah you do, remember that show I made you watch the other night, the one with strip Jeopardy?" replies her date.

"Oh no, is that who this is?"

Ah, but I digress. This is supposed to be a review of Howard Stern's new movie, Private Parts. But my big haired friend poses an interesting question. Who is Howard Stern?

The Howard Stern I know comes on the radio every morning, well not in Boone but in most "civilized" regions of the country. He also appears on my television every night at 11:00.

On the air he is a frothing mad man. He will say anything, do anything, to get a laugh, often at his own expense.

For example, take an episode that recently appeared on the E channel. Two extremely attractive young women sat in front of microphones in his darkened studio. The subject at hand was the blonde's quest to have sex with most of those men in a row. Her goal, I believe, was 300.

Throughout the interview, men were auditioned for the part. A black man comes in, and the blonde rejects him, saying her boyfriend would leave her if she had sex with a black man. Howard chimes in, "He'll let you have sex with 300 men, but not a black?"

Misogynistic? Maybe. Funny? Yes, well at least to an estimated 25 million hard core fans, myself included. Another 25 million would probably like to gag his oft understood mouth. But this is why we like him.

He is on the edge, a rebel against the puritanical oppression of the airwaves. He humiliates himself and anyone else for a laugh.

But Private Parts, by humor tempered with a sappy love story, means to reshape our perception of the "King of all Media," from a loud-mouthed jerk to a loving, sensitive, family man.

Don't get me wrong, the movie is still hilarious. It includes his most infamous radio gags.

From his early days in D.C., when he jokes about throwing hand grenades into a crowded school, to New York when the "Kielbasa Queen" fellates a 13 inch sausage, the movie made me fall to the sticky floor time after time, making me wish I hadn't worn my new pair of $15 Wranglers.

But in between each outrageous episode is the love story of Howard and his wife, Alison, played by Mary McCormack of Murder One.

This is where the movie gets bogged down in a Beauty and the Beast sort of vein. Also, there is a kind of good championing the evil thing going on as Howard does battles with stiff radio managers and the FCC. The result is that Howard comes off looking like a nice guy.

When all is said and done though, the humor does outweigh the schmaltz. I only wish there was more. And to answer that loud woman with the big hair behind me, after seeing this movie, I no longer know who the real Howard Stern is.

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Fun in the sun...
Thaw Out to be held at Hawks Nest this year
Amy Foster
Reporter

The rumors are true. Thaw Out is really going to happen this year!

Thaw Out will be held at Hawksnest and is being put on by Sigma Phi Epsilon and Kappa Sigma fraternities.

For those of you who don't know what Thaw Out is, here's a brief description: it's the BEST day of the whole school year!!

You'll be hanging out in the sun, listening to great bands, drinking some beer (if you're 21), and basically relaxing. It's a guaranteed day of fun!

The date of Thaw Out is April 26. Buses will be running continuously from a designated place on campus starting at 10:30 a.m.., and tickets will be $3 a person which is a round trip ticket.

As soon as a bus is full, it leaves, so there will be a constant flow of transportation. If you would like to drive your car, you can, but parking will be $5.

The bands that will be playing are: Blue Rags, a progressive bluegrass band; Acoustic Workshop, a relaxing folk group; Treehouse, a new rock and roll band from Liverpool; and Dread and Alive, a reggae band.

Tickets go on sale March 19, in front of the cafeteria and the Student Union for $12. T-shirts will also be on sale at ticket booths for $10, and to save a little cash, the purchase of a t-shirt and a ticket together, will be $20. It's advised to buy your ticket early because they might not sell at the event.

One important factor to keep in mind is the buses are provided for a reason. Seven Devils Police Department will have check points for drunk drivers.

Hawksnest is selling all the beverages and food, so you don't need to bring anything except sunscreen and sunglasses.

The coordinators for this event are Robbie Hutzler and Brock Long of Sigma Phi Epsilon, and Todd Camp of Kappa Sigma.

"We're sorry Thaw Out didn't happen last year due to forces out of our control, but I'm real excited about this year and doing it at Hawksnest," said Hutzler.

"We've put a lot of time and effort into making this happen, and I hope it will be a huge success," said Long.

A portion of the proceeds will benefit OASIS (Opposing Abuse with Service, Information and Shelter). The sponsors are Mast General Store, Friends Music, The Warehouse, Magic Cycles, Kappa Delta, and Alpha Phi.

Thaw Out will officially open at 10:30 a.m. and will be over at 5 p.m.. The first band will begin at 11:30 a.m. Hawksnest will be selling draft beer for $1 and liquor drinks for $3.

So everyone come and have some fun in the sun, and chill out at Thaw Out! It's back!

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Artists display photos in Looking Glass Gallery
Vanessa Urruela
Editor-in-Chief

When going through the Student Union, it is easy to walk right by the Looking Glass Gallery without noticing the ever-changing treasures it holds. When passers-by miss the current exhibit, "Paramyth and the Human Experience," they'll be missing quite a lot.

Inside the gallery, viewers will see dazzling photographs that convey much more than the average shot taken when the camera person says, "Say cheese!" These photographs are beautiful illustrations of human emotion and natural existence.

Emily McCormick's pieces are very striking portraits of women who are students at Appalachian. "My main goal was to present the human experience of emotion through portraiture," her mission statement inside the gallery says.

Indeed, McCormick's work show the transendental, universality of human emotion in the faces and expressions of her subjects.

One familiar face in McCormick's collection is Darby Weaver, last year's Student Government Association president.

The works by Jonathan Crumpler are also photographs which use natural elements combined with human models. "These works attempt to recapture an intimacy between humans and nature as portrayed in the Greek myths," says Crumpler's mission statement.

Crumpler's photographs show the innate tie between human beings and the natural world around us. The striking combinations of organic elements like leaves and plants together with humans makes the viewer contemplate the place and purpose of humanity in a world so affected by the environmental decay we have caused.

It is important that the Appalachian community see the work of McCormick and Crumpler. Their work is both pleasant to the eye and intriguing.

For more information about the Looking Glass Gallery or about whether works are for sale, please call the Student Programs Office at 262-3032.

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