March 18, 1997

Right is wrong
Viewpoint
Matt Bielejeski

As I sit here writing this, my right wrist is in a cast, due to an unfortunate accident involving myself, a lot of water and a set of stairs.

Now granted, being in a cast sucks, but the situation forced me to realize a bias in society that is so large, most people don't even think about it.

Of course, the bias I'm talking about is the "right-hand dominance" bias, or RHD for short. Not being able to use my right hand to its full capacity made me quite aware of the ways in which society forces its right-handed views on the helpless lefties.

Examples of this bias may be found everywhere. I'm not joking. Go and get a drink of water. What side is the push button on? Zip up your jeans. What side is the zipper on? Start your car. What side is the ignition on?

I think you get the point. Almost everything in our universe is oriented for right-handed people. Remember those tiny chair/desk combination thingies that only had a little island for you to write on? What side was the island on? Just imagine what kind of hell left handed people had to endure when they had to take an essay test.

Another aspect that my wrist injury forced me to realize is the importance of the opposable thumb. Yes, that appendage we all know and love that allows us to hold, grasp and strangle.

If you believe in the evolution theory, the opposable thumb was what allowed the primates to evolve farther than other forms of life, and therefore, allowed humans to evolve with the thumb.

Okay, enough of my evolution lecture. My point is this: without having that opposable thumb, many daily tasks become quite a bit more difficult.

Try buttoning your shirt with only your left hand and your four other fingers without your thumb. Not too easy, is it? Or maybe try brushing your teeth? Can't do it? Surprise. You can't even grip the toothbrush. Try switching to your left hand and trying not to poke your eye out or slobber toothpaste all over your face.

I have been forced to develop many obscure methods of doing everyday things using my limited right hand. The pinkie can be formed into quite a nice hook, which can be used to turn socks inside out, or pull up one's pants after a visit to the lavatory. The pinkie and ring finger used together form a useful pincer grasp for grabbing small items of little weight.

The real question I'm sure you're asking yourself is, "Okay, he's right. But what can I do about it?" The answer, unlike identifying the problem, is not so simple.

Lobby your congressmen. Picket the White House. Start a petition. Demand action against the oppressive RHD ruling class. Scream about it in the streets. Rant and rave about it in your classes.

As Wilford Brimley said, "It's the right thing to do." Right is wrong.

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When the caged bird sings
Daniel Bothun
Columnist

These days, it isn't easy to find entertainment that the whole family can agree on. Keg parties get boring after a while, porno movies are expensive, and good weed is hard to come by.

What else could the whole family enjoy, other than a case of Coors Light? Going to the zoo, what else?

Although going to the zoo might sound like a good idea, it isn't. As a matter of fact, going to the zoo contributes to the continuing exploitation and oppression of our fellow animals.

Animals are being exploited daily for pure, unadulterated, bourgeois profit. Advertisers use brightly colored pictures of animals in various promotional mediums to attract customers to the zoo. An example of this gratuitous promotion of animals is Sea World.

Sea World purchases (captures) animals, puts them on display, and gives them a slave name (e.g. Shamu). Their slave names are then mentioned extensively in print advertising, merchandise, etc..

Did that whale (I refuse to acknowledge its slave name) benefit from the use of its likeness in advertising? Clearly, the answer is no. Although, some people might say yes, and state that the whales (and other creatures) used in advertising get plenty of food, water, shelter, and medical care as a reward. This argument is wrong, and will always be wrong.

Zoo animals are treated like property that must be well maintained. If zoos did not perform regular maintenance on the animals, the animals would get sick and die. Also, sickly animals would attract the attention of animal rights groups.

At the very least the zoo would get bad press, which might cause the business to lose revenue. Much of the time, a court case results from this mistreatment of animals and the guilty party might suffer a financial loss.

Many zoo advocates will say that the animals are being used for scientific research, which attempts to justify their imprisonment. This research, supposedly, will be useful to humans in understanding the behavioral patterns of the species being studied. This argument is like a metal umbrella used for protection in a violent thunderstorm.

Animals should be studied in their own natural habitats, not in the confined spaces of a zoo. These confined spaces might affect the behavior of the animals being studied, which will lead to unpredictable and unreliable results. Studying animals in their own natural habitats will produce more accurate results, and this practice definitely is more respecting of the animals' rights.

Some people may point out that the zoos protect endangered species, which is necessary in our modern society. First of all, endangered species aren't being protected for their own safety and well being. Endangered species are merely an advertising gimmick, designed to attract visitors that might be curious about these species. For example, the Minnesota Zoo pimps its rare animals, through pictures and informative copy, on the MN Zoo web site.

Also, endangered species shouldn't have to be enslaved to be protected. If these species are dying off because of poaching, then get to the root of the problem and solve it. If a species is near extinction for some other reason relating to mankind, then mankind should address that problem.

The mere existence of zoos is an abomination of morality, justice, and freedom. We must not simply sit down and watch oppression in progress; rather, we must stand up and fight on behalf of all creatures in chains.

We all must unite against a common enemy: the exploiters of the exploited and the oppressors of the oppressed.

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Our Opinion

We endorse a ticket in the SGA race...

It's that wonderful time of year again when campaigning gets on everyone's nerves and students just want to vote already. Every year the Editorial Board of The Appalachian votes to decide which ticket to endorse in the election for Student Government President and Vice President.

All six candidates came to speak to us on Sunday and all three tickets presented their ideas reasonably and thoughtfully.

We voted, and by a landslide we decided to endorse Fernando Little and Jake Parker for SGA President and Vice President.

Besides the fact that both men have proven leadership experience (Fernando is the president of the Men's Service Club, chair of an APPS council, and is a Student Ambassador), their platform makes the most sense and presents the most significant plan for positive improvements.

The Little & Parker platform consists of ideas which will bring the student voice back to the university. Many times students don't feel they are properly represented by the Student Government Association. The Little & Parker ticket promises several ways to ensure senators will be more responsive and attentive to their constituents. In other words, they will work to make sure SGA does its job- serving all students.

First, they propose that each on-campus senator be required to attend their Resident Student Association meetings in the residence halls. Off-campus senators would be required to attend "town meetings" so that off-campus students could interact with them.

Second, Little & Parker want to expand the current Operation Outreach efforts so that there would be a new cabinet member responsible to gather student feedback and concerns. He or she would be in charge of a monthly call-in show on WASU, 90.5 The App. That person would also check e-mail received in response to issues posted on the SGA homepage on the World Wide Web. Little & Parker have stated that this cabinet position would replace the vacant Mountaineer Escort seat, empty since the service was turned over to ASU Security. Thus, student fees would not be raised to cover this change.

Third, Little & Parker want senators to attend diversity training so that they could better respond to students of varying racial, social, religious and economic backgrounds. Training of this type would help senators to better understand the needs and concerns of the diverse body of students they represent.

The Little & Parker platform also calls for much needed improvements in our ailing library and off-campus expansion of Mountaineer Escort. They also want to get more popular and "student friendly" vendors to participate in the ASU discount card program. Considering that ASU students make up a majority of the population of Boone at least eight months out of the year, this seems like a good idea.

We hope every student will take the opportunity to vote... for Little & Parker that is.

Fernando and Jake- if you win, we also think other tickets' ideas like ASU Police on mountain bikes, recreational areas around residence halls, satellite parking lots, and professor evaluations on the 'Net are good ideas.

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