March 25, 1997

The music comes alive at Appalachian
John Starling
Features Editor

Whatever It Goes
Garden of Sirens
Feminazis
Pink Collar Jobs
Agent Ink

As those who loyally follow this section know this write up of the Local Music Festival from this weekend was originally was supposed to be a comprehensive look at the bands and a review of each band's performance.

Such a piece would probably bore you silly since it would be so unbearably long. Let's cut to the chase, shall we: how were they, what do they sound like, are they worth seeing?

To answer those questions briefly, "great", "too many sounds to summarize" and (emphatically) "yes!!". Let's get to them individually.

Wherever It Goes started the festival off in good fashion. For a band that I had never heard of, much less seen live, I was handily impressed. After talking to the band, and finding out that it was an "off" night for them, I would be very eager to see them when they were "on".

Their sound literally is wherever it goes. Anything goes. They've really got something for everyone. Progressive, Hendrix-esque runs, psychedelia, jams and straight-ahead rock can hit you all at once from these guys. Tossed in between great originals were blistering covers of Santana and Pink Floyd tunes. There were a few moments when the jams could have been a little shorter, but on the whole a very good performance.

Garden of Sirens rounded off Friday evening with a bit of an uneven set. There is no question that when they rocked, they rocked. But when they chilled, they were a little too mellow. Maybe it was the melodrama. Or the dancer.

They were unquestionably very tight. I'm not implying at all that they sucked, but I think this might have been a bit of an "off" night for them. I'm interested in seeing their goth-flavored rock again. It did seem very good. But then again, maybe I was paying more attention at the few moments they lulled. They are very much worth seeing, if you get the opportunity.

For me the most pleasant surprise of the two night show was the Feminazis. It's been a long time since I've heard a band effectively blend humor and politics in such an enjoyable fashion. Their music interestingly bounced between slow punk to folky type rock to pseudo-camp. I could tell that they were either new or hadn't practiced in a few days. They weren't that rusty. They were, in fact, almost smooth.

On the subject of smooth, I was particularly blown away by a song with a refrain that went something like "Hairy legged, man hating lesbians, lesbians." The melody and the words were top-notch, in my opinion. These ladies' voices were perhaps the most beautiful voices I've heard in a long, long time. They're women, they're proud and...oh, you better believe they're strong.

No surprises from Pink Collar Jobs: Great as usual. In fact, I would venture to say that they stole the show. They were tight as hell, with propulsive guitars and bass and frenzied drumming standing out. Wait a minute, that's the whole band. I guess that's my point.

Their almost fast-as-light punk/hard core was as entrancing as it was danceable. Let's not forget the punked up version of Poison's "Talk Dirty To Me" (come on, you all had a copy). I had seen them once before and was semi-impressed, but without a doubt became a fan Saturday night. I wish I was wearing bobby-socks, because they would have blown me out of ‘em. Don't miss any opportunity to see them. It'll be worth the few bucks. I promise.

Agent Ink ended the festival after their "triumphant tour of Charlotte", according to guitarist/vocalist Rob Gaddy. Gaddy said a bucket full of memorable one-liners during the course of the band's set, due in part to chronic bass amp problems. One would think that this would dampen the band's show. One would be wrong.

Though they couldn't deliver the goods quite as well as they're capable of, they made their way around the problems with commendable professionalism, even killing time with a nod to Pink Collar Jobs by doing Poison's "Every Rose Has Its Thorn", briefly. I can't in good conscience give them the rating I think they deserve, because of the amp problems and, might I add, the poor mixing of the sound at the board.

One more note about this performance. I had a person with me who had never seen these guys before. She was thoroughly blown away. For this ability to persevere in the face of bad odds and still be able to pull of such a feat, they rocked.

I must give my personal kudos to APPS for pulling this off. It was great to see so much local talent in the span of two nights, just a short walk from my dorm. Way to go guys!

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A world wide web of conspiracy
Jeff Sprouse
Staff Writer

I feel betrayed by those I trust. As an Eagle scout, I was taught to obey and accept my government. Now, at any given moment, I expect my door to be kicked in by jack-booted storm troopers, coming to take me away for what I just saw on the Internet.

And I'm not talking about the smut and filth of Blonde, Hard bodies or Big-Breasted Babes. No, this is something far more unbelievable than a woman with EEE breasts riding a donkey.

What I'm talking about is a plot by a shadow government to unite the globe in a New World Order and the various militia organizations that have formed to fight it.

If you, like me, take everything you read and hear literally, then I will relate to you what my editor told me. "Any nut with a computer can have a web site. I don't know how believable some of this stuff is, Jeff."

Yeah, well where will he be when Satan's dark forces conquer the world?

For those wondering what the New World Order is, here is a definition from WWW.GEOCITIES.COM: "The NWO is a system in which the independence of individual nations will be subject to the limitations set forth by a world government."

The document goes on to say that the roots of this world government can be seen in the United Nations. Under their direction, national militaries will be disbanded in favor of a common military force.

The document also says that NWO will be instituted by a shadow government that already exists and has already set into motion its grand scheme. These organizations are the Bilderburgs, the Council on Foreign Relations and the Trilateral Commission.

Poor were the details on the groups. So I went to WWW.LD.CENTURYINTER.COM. And woah, was I stunned.

All these groups are made up of Elites. They meet in secret and do not allow non-members to attend. At a meeting, they form foreign policy, regulate international trade, fix world prices and generally scheme to take away our freedom. Then they "advise" world government on their opinions.

Included on the web site were some of the members of these groups, some of which are very well known. I will not jeopardize my life by putting them in print here.

Their histories are also too sordid and vast to publish here, so go to WWW.IMPROPAGANDA.COM for all the twisted details.

Sounds pretty bleak, eh? Well not to worry because here in the good old USA there is a rising tide of patriotism, known as militias, organizing to fight the fascist internationalists. And they're on the web.

Go to WWW.NETPAT.NET, and enter the North Carolina Citizen's Militia web page. Here you can enjoy the constitutional basis for forming a militia, info on how to join and links to such pages as Jews for the Preservation of Firearms.

Click on "Arguments Against Gun Control" and you'll see a group of heavily armed men roaming the forest. Captioned, "The A-Team - Prowlin' and Growlin," at the bottom it says, "Bad boys, bad boys, watcha gonna do, watcha gonna do when you come for us!"

This of course is only the tip of the metaphoric iceberg. You should do your own search. But keep the following in mind:

Once you log on somewhere they know who you are. Some of the sites are only advertisements for magazine subscriptions where you can find the real truth. Others get bogged down in religious and racial. . .

Hold on a second, someone's at the door.

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What do Jesus and the Easter bunny have in common?
Amy Foster
Staff Writer

Easter is a holiday that many people recognize as the Resurrection of Jesus of Nazareth. But not many people know the history of Easter.

Obviously, Easter comes in the spring. Winter is over and the earth has a new carpet of grass. And it always comes after the first full moon in spring.

For Christians, Easter Sunday is the best holiday because it celebrates the Resurrection of Jesus of Nazareth, who rose from death to new life about two thousand years ago.

Before the whole concept of Easter came about, there was a time of rebirth during a spring festival. People celebrated the growth of crops and fields.

After the Resurrection, the Christian religion spread and was mixed with the spring festival because both represented growth, new life and hope.

Many people ask how the egg got involved. Well, for ancient people, the egg symbolized new life. When the shell was broken, new life emerged.

The egg-rolling contest is still a very old and popular game. Children roll hard-boiled eggs down a hill and when they hit each other, usually, they break. The winner is the child with the last egg to break. Dolley Madison, the wife of the fourth President of the United States, James Madison, started the most famous egg-rolling contest on the lawn of the White House in the early 1800s.

As to where the concept of the Easter bunny originated, no one really knows. All that is recorded, is that the rabbit is the symbol for the abundance of new life.

According to the Bible, Jesus died on the cross on Friday, and on Sunday morning, when people came to his grave, it was empty. An angel came before them and said, "Why seek you the living among the dead? He is not here but is risen." Therefore, new life began.

As for what people eat for Easter, many people eat ham. Many countries consider the pig to be a sign of good luck; hence the term, "piggy bank."

Another little bit of information is, in earlier times, when a young man would send a pair of gloves to his sweetheart, this was considered to be a proposal of marriage. If she were to accept the proposal of marriage, she would wear the gloves on Easter morning.

There are certainly many different meanings to different people for Easter.

"When I think of Easter, I think of being together with my family at the beach. I also think of church and things being beautiful outside," said Brooks Gurley, a senior from High Point.

"To me, Easter is a time to celebrate the Resurrection of Jesus Christ. I usually spend Easter with my family at church," said Steve Norton, a sophomore from Charlotte.

"Easter is an important holiday that I really enjoy because it is a time when my whole family is together. It also reminds me of the beginning of spring when the weather finally turns warmer and the flowers are blooming," said Stacie Diehl, a graduate student from Durham.

No matter how people celebrate Easter, it is the beginning of spring when everyone comes out of hiding from the cold weather and welcomes the sunshine. For all students, it's a time of celebration with the end of the semester being just around the corner.

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Two sides of the Zippers
Matt Russ
Writing Coach

Concert Review

Seven is a good number and in this case, as most would call it anyway, it's the perfect number.

Seven musically diverse individuals convened at Legends last Thursday night to throw a party, as they probably would have called it, in front of a packed house of dancing, wannabe flappers.

Squirrel Nut Zippers is a band that is fairly new on the scene, and although they have two CDs and a third on the way, they have just recently made it to the big time.

Their single "Hell," from the appropriately titled CD Hot, has even made it to MTV. Let's just hope the I'm-too-hip-for-you "alternative" music network doesn't take this talented group of musicians and run them into the ground.

The Zippers put on a show at Appalachian last semester that had everyone drooling for seconds, including all those who simply heard about it.

They came on stage about 10:20 p.m. clad in their unique 20s/90s attire to a roar of applause and cheers. Their humorous stage manner immediately set the tone for the rest of the night. They broke into song, and dancing pursued.

The Zippers combine a multitude of sounds with instruments ranging from horns and saxophones to guitars, resonators and chandeliers (and yes, even a ukulele), providing the listener with a jazzy, funky swing sound.

The diversity in musicianship which makes up the band members themselves is astounding. Players switch back and forth among varied instruments to compensate for the particular sound they are creating.

During the show Tom Maxwell alternated primarily between a rhythm guitar and a trombone, Jim Mathus alternated between guitar and alto sax while Katharine Whalen alternated between banjo and her Betty Boop/Ella Fitzgerald vocals. They share the spotlight and together produce an electrifyingly vibrant sound.

They opened with several songs from their latest CD which is yet to be released. They played some old songs and also satisfied the crowd with tunes from Hot.

They played for about an hour and a half and then left the stage, only to return in encore style fashion to play for another half hour.

Aside from the superb musical quality, they spiced up their performance with personas of utter joy, a crazy fun if you will, feeding off the frenzied crowd. They left them red-faced and sweating, with grins of satisfaction upon their countenances.

Those of you who participated in the bonanza can be amused that you saw such a vibrant band on the up and up in such an intimate setting.

The Squirrel Nut Zippers may be back to ASU in the next couple of years, but it will be in Varsity Gym. It won't be the same as Legends. That time passed with the fading shrill of Duke Heitger's trumpet early last Friday morning.

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