Jeremy Ball, Campus Life Editor

 This is how the story goes: a man who is too insecure to  be honest with anyone cons a shy and equally insecure  woman. The woman gives in to the man's supposed friendship. But in the end, the man discovers that he and the woman speak the  same language, the language of love, and he can not live with the possibility of hurting her. The two embrace and start a new life together.

 How many broadway musicals does this sound like?

 In this case, it wasn't a musical and it was definitely off- broadway. "The Universal Language," one of two one-act plays presented by the Department of Theater and Dance October 23-25 in I.G. Greer, did, however, present the same type of sentimental mush that  would have made a critical theater goer's stomach turn.

 But, hey, who cares? "The Universal Language," written by David Ives  and directed by Douglas Coventry, was a lot of fun. The main characters, Dawn, played by Meredith Gayle, and Don, played by Jonathan Bilbro, kept the audience laughing for the duration of the play.

 The basic  plot involved Don, the scam artist, teaching a universal language that was nonsense. The speech-impaired Dawn came to seek his help after discovering that English must not be her true language because all it did was hinder what she wanted to say and her ability to interact with others.

 Don speaks his ficitious language to the struggling Dawn until the very end. During the play, the two discover shared feelings for each other and Dawn miraculously learns to speak Don's ridiculous speech where words like "male" are replaced with "aspirin."

 In the end, Don confesses his scam, but Dawn doesn't care. They have discoverd love and she vows to stay with him. The play closes with a young man, played by Brian Ward, coming into Don's office requesting lessons in his language. Don and Dawn respond compliance in their new speech, eagerly hoping to share what they have discovered with the world.

 I went to review the one-acts on Saturday night. The acting in "The Universal Language" was dynamic enough to be really funny. Bilbro was especially impressive. Both actors worked well together, though at times they seemed to be on the verge of breaking charcter  and finding themselves humorous. Overall, it was a thoroughly enjoyable time, if not  intellectually challenging.

 "Chicago," the second one-act, was a different story. Actually, I'm not sure that anyone sitting through the play only once could say exactly what the story was. While "The Universal Language" could  be appreciated and understood by most, "Chicago," written by Samm Shepard and directed by Catherine A. Tate, seemed to be nothing more than several extended metaphors with acting as an excuse to tie them all together.

 There was a man in a bath tub, a bunch of people with fishing poles, a woman going  on a trip and a lot of yelling. Sorry if I sound ignorant, but I left feeling that I must be. Basically, I gathered that the play was a commentary on the family, society and the rat race. But it lacked a coherent plot to justify the metaphors. It really felt like the writer was trying to push his ideas too hard. Most of the play was a monologue by Stu, the half-naked main character who  spends the entire play in a bath tub. He spouted off his rambling analogies about life.

 It was all pretty artsy-fartsy, but even for the average audience member it really wasn't bad. For a play that was so thick and unintelligable, Justin Rowland, as Stu, did a phenomenal job. He kept the audince involved throughout the play, touching them at times and also driving them to laughter with his tirades, even if they had no idea why they were laughing.

 A lesser actor who had focused more on the metaphor than the character would have been unbearable.

 But, I give kudos to the theater department for "Chicago." You've got to aim high.

 Although I have a few criticisms for the one acts production, they are by far always my favorite for the year. The I.G. Greer theater, though extremely hot, is also personal. The actors come and talk right in your face. They made for an enjoyable that made me laugh and made me think.

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