October 6, 1998

Brian Hough
Staff Writer

Recently, I was enjoying a leisurely ride on the somewhat cramped AppalCART.  It would have been ridiculous of me to assume that there might be sitting space available, so I resigned myself to a standing position throughout the entire trip to the State Farm parking lot. That was fine with me.  I needed the exercise anyway.

However,  while I was contemplating my place in the universe, I couldn’t help noticing the fact that I was the only male standing, and in front of me were 15 females forced into the same uncomfortable position I was in. In layman’s terms,  they were standing too.  Next to them were a bunch of fine young men,  content with the knowledge that they were in a cushy seat just because they could run onto the bus sooner than the rest of us.

I believe that men and women are equal just like everyone else, but I was also raised on the idea that women are beautiful creatures who deserve to be cherished and respected in the highest sense possible.  Sounds like a great line, doesn’t it fellas? 

Well,  hold your breath,  because I actually mean it this time. It doesn’t stop with the AppalCART either.  Holding doors, pulling out chairs, chewing with your mouth closed, all of these things have taken a step to the back in regards to our generation and the males’ approach to females. Twenty years ago, we males couldn’t dream of getting away with the crap we pull around most women. We men have adopted a new, even more disgusting philosophy towards women. I know, I know, women don’t want that stuff nowadays, right? Well, I’ve spoken with a few, and they seem to enjoy having the door opened for them,  and I don’t think any of them would complain if you offered them your seat.

However, we all occasionally have a run-in with a hard-core feminist who would much rather walk on nails than have you open the door for them. I only have one thing to say to women of that character.

When we  open the door for you,  it’s not an inferiority thing, it’s a respect thing.  I don’t hold the door because I don’t think you can hold it yourself, and if I offer you my seat, it’s not because I don’t think your legs are sturdy enough. I do all those things because I think you deserve it.

I know you have to put up with revolting stares,  corny lines,  and tremendous amounts of rudeness every day of your lives. So I hold doors and offer my seat because, if I were in your position,  I think I’d like someone to treat me like I was important every now and then.

I’m not saying that I’m always a perfect gentleman. Occasionally, I forget to hold a door, and even engage in rude conversations when it doesn’t cross my mind that you can hear every disgusting word that comes out of my mouth. I’m no Cassanova, and my dating life is pretty much nonexistent, so I’m definitely not writing this article to impress anyone.

All I’m trying to say to you fellas out there is that you’re embarrassing me, and I don’t like to be embarrassed. So please, guys, stop the phony personalities and the corny lines. Try being honest, and along the way, hold a door or offer a seat every now and then. It’ll make me feel better about my species.