No, 'Star Wars' is overhyped 
Mike Daniels / Editor-in-chief 

Yes, ' Star Wars' is awesome 
I am fascinated by a recent phenomenon that’s enjoyed extensive media coverage. No, I’m not talking about Monicagate or Pamela Anderson Lee’s decision to have her breast implants removed. 

It seems there’s a little art-house movie premiering this May that’s getting a lot of advance attention.  In the not-too-distant future, in a multiplex not far from Boone, the wait for “Star Wars, Episode 1: The Phantom Menace” will soon be over. 

Who would have thought that a collection of celluloid images would be so eagerly anticipated? Yet, the “Star Wars” trilogy has been causing a stir since it debuted in 1977. It’s become a huge part of our national and international consciousness. Three movies, about nine hours of film, have forever altered the landscape of popular culture. It’s the reason people are camping out a month in advance for tickets. It’s the reason tons of merchandise are sold everyday. 

It’s the reason “the Force” is an integral part of our modern vocabulary; the reason most of our fantasies involve Matt Stone, co-creator of “South Park,” and a well-stocked hotel mini-bar. Okay, maybe that’s just me ... 

You get my point, though. From the moment that Imperial starship crossed the screen in pursuit of Princess Leia, we’ve been mesmerized by the actions of Luke Skywalker and company.  

We sank into the seat as Storm Troopers blasted through the doors of Princess Leia’s ship. We held our breath as Darth Vader’s mask was removed. We swooned as Han Solo kissed Leia in the corridors of the Millennium Falcon. 

We felt a little uncomfortable when Leia kissed Luke— ew! We wondered why Yoda sounded like a cross between Fozzie the Bear and Miss Piggy. 

Even contemporary film and sitcom producers think like we do; references are everywhere, from “The Simpsons” to “Clerks” to “Friends.” See, I know how much you guys love that image of Jennifer Aniston in the pleasure barge bikini.George Lucas is certainly imaginative, but I doubt he ever imagined the impact his story would have, in the popular as well as the technological sense. 

“I’m not that keen on technology,” he wrote in “Premiere.” 

“I’m a storyteller, but to enable me to tell my stories, I’ve had to develop the necessary technology.” 

He asserts that the cinema of the 21st century will be digital, with almost limitless possibilities, built on a foundation begun by Lucas’ revolutionary use of computers to create visual effects in the initial “Star Wars.” 

 From 1902’s “A Trip to the Moon” to the disturbingly realistic dinosaurs of “Jurassic Park,” the effectiveness of films at conveying fantasy has come a long way. “Episode 1” is merely the next milestone. 

Yet, despite all its technological wizardry, the film’s budget has managed to hover around $120 million, $80 million less than “Titanic.” 

And unlike director James Cameron’s magnum opus, “Episode 1” has more digital effects, most likely a better script, and the potential for even more repeat viewers. 

Come to think of it, Lucas might have missed the boat on this one; maybe he should have cast Leonardo Dicaprio as Anakin Skywalker. Goodness knows he’ll need all the help he can get at the box office. 

You do realize I was being sarcastic, don’t you? 

So come May 19, grab your Boba Fett action figure, pack a lunch in your Death Star-shaped carrying case, and pitch a tent outside the movie theater. “May the Force be with you,” dear reader; you’ll need it if you want those tickets for opening weekend. 

No, 'Star Wars' is overhyped 
Trekkies, a segment of our society that is as fun to pick on as Cubs fans and mimes. 

These die-hards of the cosmos in their Klingon attire congregate at Holiday Inns across the country to quiz each other on lines from the latest episode of “Voyager” while waiting in line for an hour to get George Takei’s autograph on a poster that will end up on the wall next to their diplomas. 

And we poke fun at them for this. 

You see, “Star Trek” fans have always taken a bad rap, not without just cause of course, among the sci-fi community and the nation as a whole. They’ve always given a new, humorous, meaning to the word dedication. 

In the eyes of “Star Wars” fans, they’re the fanatical, right-wingers, the Pat Buchanans, if you will, of the sci-fi world.  “Stars Wars” fans, all the while, have seen themselves as the distinguished moderates, cool and collected.  They’re the Bob Doles of this structured society. 

At least that’s what the die-hard “Star Wars” fans would have had us believe. 

In the spring of 1997, on the eve of the “Star Wars” re-release, the followers of the “Star Wars” cult proved that myth wrong, flocking to theaters days ahead of time in their storm trooper outfits to line up and wait to pay $7.50 to watch a movie that they had already seen.  Hundreds, if not thousands of times, in fact. 

Now I am quite willing to admit that I love all three of the “Star Wars” movies.  As a child of the ‘80s, how could I not?  I grew up watching these three classics, the “Indiana Jones” and the “Rocky” movies over and over.  I still have piles of these toys hidden away in the attic somewhere. 

In short, I readily acknowledge that all of these movies were cinematic masterpieces that will forever be classics. 

But did I feel the need to run like an idiot to the theaters and fork over at least $6 to see these movies on their so-called “opening 
night,” as many people sadly, did two years ago? I don’t even want to see these computer-tarnished, sing-along alterations of movies that I thought were perfect the first time around. 

But getting to the point, a few weeks from now, a whole new tidal wave of “Star Wars” inspired nerddom will sweep the country with the release of “Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace.” 

I, like most other movie-goers, will want to see this movie this summer.  Unfortunately, I will not feel safe to go to the theaters until at least mid-June.  With the amount of hype surrounding this movie, it will probably be harder to get opening weekend tickets to this movie than it is to get into the Super Bowl. 

And who really wants to sit next to someone dressed like Boba Fett who is in a cold sweat from anxiety as the opening credits are rolling?  Some of these MIT alums and pocket protector collectors will probably have heart attacks and seizures when the lights begin to dim. I feel sorry for every decent parent who wants to take their children to go see this film.  These kids will have nightmares about the aliens sitting in front of them at theaters. 

More importantly, though, I feel sorry for these people.  Anyone who goes to a movie three times in one day (which you know a lot of these winners will do for several days until they’ve got it all memorized) really needs to take a minute to think about their life. 

I mean, if you’re a guy who is planning to take off work May 19-21 (which is a Wednesday through Friday), the first three days the movie is out, you really need to look at your priorities.  And while you’re at it, you should probably try looking at a woman too.  And I know what you’re thinking here, so let me answer it, no, Carrie Fisher does not count.  I mean another woman. 

The bottom line is, this movie, which has not been that heavily advertised, has already created a hype ten times as annoying as the Titanic phenomenon. 

Heck, at least that happened after the movie was already out and people realized it was good.  Right now, we have people already paying top-dollar to go to the theater to see a preview of a movie that very well could be not all that great. 

So on May 19, you rebels like me out there beware.  The dark side of the Force will prevail, as an army of weak-willed storm troopers will make movie theaters a bad place to go for several weeks. 

Oh, well.  I guess those average joes among us who just LIKE “Star Wars” will have to go see Austin Powers or the “South Park” movie in the meantime as we wait for the true fans to head back to the comic book stores.  Oh, one more thing, Pat Buchanan and Bob Dole both have one important thing in common. 

If you think back to 1996, you can remember it.  They’re both losers