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Depression within the family |
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Thursday, 25 January 2007 |
 Active Image | by VONDA BURRIS
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I was his little princess. The apple of his eye. The one precious individual that he sought to protect, support and comfort in any situation.
He was my hero, my provider and my knight-in-shining armor.
My
father and I had this unique bond until I became a freshman in high
school and he began to suffer from severe depression. From that point
until present day, our relationship has changed.
“Depression can cause a person to withdraw,” Counseling and
Psychological Services Director and Chief Psychologist Dan L. Jones
said. “And when a parent is depressed within a family, for periods of
time, it can seem like a single-family home. They may be there
physically, not emotionally.”
According to a study conducted by the Australian government, everyone
will be affected by depression – their own or someone else’s – in their
lifetime.
Often times, people may believe only the person suffering from the
symptoms of the illness itself are affected by depression, but those
closest to the individual live the consequences of depression too.
With my father, his emotional and psychological absence affected the once strong relationship I had with him.
It was – and still is in many instances – difficult to live with
someone who is suffering from a severe mental illness that changes the
way they normally behave.
“Symptoms of depression vary from person to person,” Jones said. “But
generally speaking, someone’s sleeping and eating habits change, they
may gain or lose weight, they may lose interest in what once interested
them and also lose motivation in daily activities.”
In a matter of nearly four years, my father went from being a
fun-loving and charismatic person to a man that seems defeated in all
aspects of life.
“Family members can feel very helpless,” Jones said. “They can see what
their family member could do to be healthier, but they can’t make them
take the appropriate measures to achieve the ideal health.”
A common mistake of people who have never experienced depression or
dealt with someone who is depressed is to assume that recovery is
simple.
According to www.uplifeprogram.com, a self-help Web site, “antidepressants work for 35-45 percent of the depressed population.”
There is no miracle cure or magical pill that will promise to bring back a normal life to depressed individuals.
It’s more a process that involves healthy lifestyle choices, therapy
and maybe anti-depressants if they relieve the symptoms for the certain
individual.
There were many times growing up that I wished my father was in a
healthier state so he could enjoy the milestones in my life with me.
When it was time for prom my senior year, my father wasn’t feeling well
enough to experience that traditional night with me. At graduation, his
only question regarding the ceremony was what time he would be home
since he wasn’t well enough to be out late.
I do not write this column in search of sympathy for my ‘broken’
relationship with my father because in many ways, I do not find it
destroyed.
“Anytime someone feels loved, it’s soothing and comforting,” Jones
said. “But it’s important to balance that support. Don’t punish them
for their illness, but hold them accountable for doing what it takes to
get better.”
Depression, like any other illness regardless if it is physical or
mental, is common in modern-day society and should never be thought of
as anything less.
According to the National Institute of Mental Health, “18.8 million
American adults suffer from clinical depression. That is 9.5 percent of
the adult population.”
My father may be only part of that statistic, but he’s the greatest
statistical figure in my eyes, and sometime he will fight the green
monsters under my bed and take his ‘princess’ out to dinner again.
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