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A guide to non-traditional, sexy costumes |
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Tuesday, 30 October 2007 |
Halloween is tomorrow and the time has come for sexing up the workforce.
Sexy nurse? Over done.
Sexy French maid? So yesterday’s news.
So this year, try a few new sexy options and bring sexy back to these traditionally unsexy characters.
Sexy AppalCART Driver
You’ll scream, “Baby, you can drive my bus” with this outfit. Wear a blue button-down shirt unbuttoned a little lower than normal, a short denim skirt and thigh-high fishnets. You can make an “AppalCART” nametag and pin it to your shirt to complete the look.
Sexy Yosef
There is no reason our beloved mascot cannot dress it up for a night on the town every once and a while.
Sometimes even Mountaineers need to feel sexy. Wear a plaid tank top
and suspenders attached to a cute pair of black pants. Top it off with
a top hat, cocked slightly to the side and you’re in business. I don’t
recommend a fake overgrown beard, though. That might just be the
opposite of sexy.
 | Jason Mills | Editorial Cartoonist
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Sexy Congressman
Here’s one for the gentlemen out there. Think JFK for your inspiration
and remember that ZZ Top said it best: “Every girl’s crazy ‘bout a
sharp-dressed man.” Don a suit and tie, and put baby powder in your
hair for that old stuffy white man look that’s all the rage these days.
Now, ramble incoherently and make sure no one likes you.
Sexy Sanitation Worker
Much like the sexy AppalCART driver, sexy sanitation worker requires a
short khaki skirt and thigh-high fishnets. Look at local thrift stores
for a sanitation worker shirt. If you can’t find one, take an orange
shirt and make an appropriate nametag. Now, don’t bathe for a few days
and roll around in your old garbage for that sexy eau de toilette
scent.
Sexy English Major
Look hotter than Dante’s “Inferno” as a sexy English major! The most
imperative part of this costume is a pair of beat up Converse sneakers.
If you can find those heeled sneaker boots, even better. Wear with a
brown blazer buttoned over the t-shirt from an indie rock band only
you’ve ever heard of. Carry around a messenger bag with a book of John
Donne’s erotic poetry and you’ll be ready to quote Chaucer ‘til the
early hours.
Sexy Pilgrim
You’ll be the one everyone wants to know…in the Biblical sense. You’ll
be hotter than when Anne Bradstreet’s house burned down. Hester Prynne
is your inspiration here. Wear high-heeled buckled boots and a short
black a-line dress, off the shoulder slightly. A white apron and a
collar will go nicely with an exaggeratedly large buckled hat. Watch
out though, you might be so sexy villagers will chase you with
pitchforks.
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