|
Abstinence until marriage: personal decision for some |
|
|
|
Thursday, 29 November 2007 |
There was once a time where if you heard of an unmarried girl being pregnant, it was a taboo subject to talk about.
She was excommunicated from society and shipped off to grandma’s, where she was never heard from again.
Today, it’s the opposite.
If you’re a virgin saving yourself for marriage, society views you as the craziest person in the world.
I’m a virgin. And by the way some people treat me, I’d believe I was crazy too if it wasn’t for the fact that I know I’m not alone.
I know plenty of people my age and even older saving themselves for marriage. In fact, there is a
Facebook group called “I’m Saving Myself For Wild, Passionate, Awkward Honeymoon Sex.”
So then, why is it viewed as such an archaic idea?
People have gone so far as to say to me it’s the “biggest mistake of my life” or “I better hope I get
raped.”
What happened to being open minded? Let’s face it. Everyone has different beliefs and ideals in life.
Everyone deserves respect no matter if you agree with them or not.
But I have come to see the usual reason people make insensitive comments and hasty generalizations
is due to their lack of understanding for something.
So, on behalf of virgins, let me explain and debunk misconceptions on this decision, at least as it
relates to me.
First of all, fear is not the driving force of this decision. Many people assume that I’m just afraid of
being that close to someone so I just avoid the idea altogether by saying I’m waiting until marriage.
This is completely false.
Many people have also said saying you’re a virgin by choice is just an excuse to cover up the fact that
you couldn’t get anything even if you wanted it.
This, again, is false.
I have been in a steady relationship for two years. I’m in love with my boyfriend and he wants to get
married eventually. Still, we both agree that it’s better to wait until the wedding night before having sex.
Sure, religion plays a role in it somewhat, but even I’ll admit, my faith is not the sole reason why I
made this commitment.
I’ve seen my friends break up with boyfriends whom they were sexually active with. I can honestly say
by observing my friends’ different types of relationships, those having sex and breaking up have a
harder time healing afterwards than my friends who don’t have sex.
To me, sex forms a special connection with a person. I have never understood the idea of casual sex.
It’s not for me.
People say you need to know what you like, but I always wonder. What if you find what you like and
then it doesn’t work out? And then the person you marry is no where as good as what you had with the
person you don’t even like anymore? Will you forever compare your spouse to someone from your
past?
And then there are STDs and pregnancy. Sure, there are ways to be safe, but what about that one
chance where something goes wrong? To me, dealing with the result for the rest of my life with a
person I don’t want to even spend the rest of my life with is just not worth it.
I’ve listened to many of my friends cry about wishing they had waited longer for the “right guy.” The
funny thing is, they thought the guy they were sleeping with was that “right guy.”
When I’m married, I’ll know it’s the right guy. Otherwise, I wouldn’t have married him.
I won’t have STDs. I wont have past experiences to compare him to. I won’t have regrets. I’ll just have
him.
Maybe I’m crazy. But it’s my decision and I’m happy with it.
Trackback(0)
 |
TrackBack URI for this entry
Show/Hide comments
