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Advice from the great beyond |
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Thursday, 17 January 2008 |
 | Nick Ianniello
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If you are reading this right now, college Nick is dead.
Sleeping off a hangover until 1 p.m. is no longer an option, being unemployed is no longer funny and laundry day is a when, not an if.
But do not mourn for your lost comrade in youthful debauchery. For by now, I’m probably on my way to literary infamy and a Pulitzer Prize (or an underpaid newswriting gig and a basement apartment - don’t judge me).
I like to think there are some bits of wisdom to be garnered from my college experience.
1. GO TO CLASS: I know your mother, and your advisor, and everyone else tells you that over and
over. And sure, you probably did have a lot of fun last night, and you probably are REALLY tired,
(cough ‘hungover’ cough) but believe it or not, you’re paying for these courses.
One semester at our beloved alma mater costs exactly $4,416 (in state), which means if you’re taking
five classes (around 15 hours) each course costs you $883.20.
Do you even realize how much beer money that is? To be exact, that’s around 147 12-packs of PBR at
about 6 bucks a pop, or 1,764 individual PBR bottles, or one heck of a weekend.
2. Make your teachers earn their keep: One of my favorite professors at Appalachian State University
started out his class by reminding students that he works for us. And he does!
You pay around $883.20 each semester for each professor to fill your groggy head with knowledge and
insight.
Some of your teachers will not look at class this way, and unfortunately, you will have to remind them.
So if you find your teacher drifting off or do not feel like you are getting your moneys worth, stand up
for yourself.
Bring this article to class, and read this aloud: “Yo! (I’m/my parents are) paying good money for you to
teach me, so get off your duff and get to teaching. That, or fork over $883.20.”
3. Never underestimate a free meal: Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know you may have to get off you butt and go
to a club meeting or listen to some lame sorority/fraternity pitch, but
when the rest of your friends are dumpster diving for food at the end
of the semester because their meal cards are cashed and you are
chowing down at the Broyhill Inn, you’ll thank me.
4. Get involved: I spent the last two years of my college career holed up in the office of The
Appalachian typing away.
Sound boring? Well, it was sometimes.
But other times, it was the best experience of my life. And you better believe that all the experience I
got here will land me a sweet job when the time comes.
5. Think big (this is the cheesy part): It is easy to get caught up in the simple problems of day-to-day
college life.
Girlfriends or boyfriends, research papers and rent money can all get you down.
But you are here because you proved that you are smart enough, strong enough, and Mountaineer
enough to change the world.
As long as you remember that most things are temporary, and that you
are tough enough to pull through even the biggest piles of crap, you’ll
be just fine.
Nick Ianniello graduated in December 2007. He was a staff member at The Appalachian for three years.
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