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Wednesday, 30 January 2008 |
Facebook not good for first dates
by LINDSAY TIGAR
Lifestyles Editor
Facebook could probably be listed as a pastime for just about each and every college student.
In fact, no longer is Facebook used as a noun, but rather a verb.
In casual conversations and first introductions, it’s almost imperative for someone to ask for your full name so they can “Facebook” you when they get home.
While I realize I’m just as guilty as the next student with idle time, Facebook has created an entire new dimension to dating.
Facebook has its
benefits. It’s easy to search for friends from other colleges who you
don’t see habitually, and it’s easy to figure out who is doing what,
when they’re doing it, and who they’re doing it with.
However, in dating relationships –Facebook doesn’t come with a letter of recommendation in my book.
Most of my friends are single and constantly going on first dates and meeting new guys they’re interested in.
It always seems that with every new relationship, or even possible relationship, the first thing to do is Facebook your date.
And by “finding
access,” I mean you seriously can’t just add someone as your friend
before a date – that would seem desperate or too interested.
You have to find someone who knows this person and personify a new definition of crazy-stalker-potential-girlfriend.
I mean, you have
to figure out what day they were born, what their major is, who they’re
friends with, what they look like in pictures before they started
college, what they list as interests and what type of applications
they’ve added to “spice” up their page.
All this is
mandatory before going on a date with someone, because we are all
defined by how we are portrayed via Facebook. Right?
Well, I hope not.
Every question
you can answer by scrolling through someone’s pictures, pages, notes
and comments can be answered in a real, in-person conversation.
It seems to ruin the element of surprise, suspense and nervousness first dates usually entail.
What happened to the time when you actually met someone, agreed to a date, and gradually discovered a new individual?
The best
elements about first or second dates are the moments when you realize a
commonality or something that entices or humors both of you.
If you go into a date already knowing what you have in common with a person, what’s the point to even going on a date?
Why don’t you
just date them through Facebook? Let your Facebook pages go out on a
date, eat dinner with each other and use the wall or “superpoke” to
interact with one another.
Maybe they’ll even add a “Between the Sheets” applications and you can consummate your relationship.
A personal challenge to myself is to stop analyzing a person by what they post online.
The digital
world is only going to grow and there are only going to be more and
more opportunities to figure out just about anything with the click of
a mouse.
But just because
the Internet is becoming all encompassing in every social, political
and cultural outlet, it doesn’t mean our relationships, ways of
communicating and dating scene has to conform to its overthrow.
To keep dating
exciting and adventurous, wait until after the first date or even,
let’s be precarious, the third or fourth date to Facebook someone.
Sure, you might
have to suffer through a dinner with someone who has the greatest
number of successful bites with the Vampire and Zombie applications, is
interested solely in Dungeons and Dragons, and only has pictures taken
with his mother but at least you gave him or her a shot and have a
story to tell later.
Maybe you’ll
meet someone who you wouldn’t have given a chance if you would of
thoroughly examined his or her’s Facebook beforehand.
Challenge yourself to be a little less of a stalker and a little more of a risk-taker.
Even if is just a first date.
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