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Tuesday, 12 February 2008 |
Understanding own identity leads to happiness
Who are you?
If you’ve ever been asked that question, you’ve probably answered with a mere statement of name or even a description of what you do.
“I’m Nikki Roberti, a freshman at Appalachian State University studying journalism.”
Or maybe you’ve even answered with a reference to another person:
“I’m the daughter of Mike Roberti. He works in computer security at Harris and is the 6th grade youth
pastor at Calvary Chapel.”
But neither of those responses really answers the question.
Who are you?
I’m not saying I know the answer to this one. I barely know the answer in regards to myself.
Some people search for years trying to uncover the mystery behind their identity.
They climb mountains, buy Harleys, or even live in isolation for years on end all in the name of
self-discovery.
But what are people really looking for?
Your identity can’t be neatly placed in a box and presented to someone wrapped with a pretty bow.
Who you are deals with every layer of your being from your outward portrayal to even your
subconscious thoughts.
But while we may not fully understand the extent of our own identities, it is important for individuals to
attempt to uncover the enigma of what is uniquely you.
While in college we may be far from figuring out the answer to this life long question, but not knowing
yourself can be the root to several issues in your life.
I’ve had many friends go through personal crises throughout high school and college, trying to fill up
their life with different things.
Money. Boys. Friends. Activities.
But none of it was ever enough.
After watching several friends over the years drive themselves into the ground in this way, I think I’ve
finally understood what the real issue was.
It wasn’t that they didn’t have enough money or things to do on the weekend. It didn’t even matter that
their boyfriends were the epitome of Prince Charming or some hobo on the street.
The main issues of their restlessness and unhappiness lied within themselves. They weren’t happy
with who they were.
They didn’t know who they were. They only knew what they weren’t.
They weren’t friendly enough or outgoing enough or anything enough.
But the truth is, until you are happy with yourself, you’re not going to live the life you want.
If you aren’t happy with yourself as a friend, all the friends in the world won’t satisfy your need to
belong since you won’t even accept yourself.
Think about it.
If a girl finally tells herself that she’s worth love and respect, she’ll stop picking up the loser boyfriends
and find satisfaction in a nice guy.
But if she’s convinced that she’s a horrible person and that no one could love her, then she won’t ever
find the love she’s looking for.
This goes for guys too.
If you don’t believe in yourself, then no one else will.
Your identity is the core of your being. Knowing your purpose in life can change your entire outlook on
the world.
It’s hard to be happy with yourself, especially when you are still starting out on your journey of
discovering who you are.
And here’s the real kicker: your identity will probably change over the years.
But finally deciding that you can live with yourself will make your life that much more pleasant. Not
only that, but your satisfaction with yourself will reflect on other things in your life as well.
I don’t know how to uncover your identity or find your purpose in life. It varies from person to person.
Some say religion is the answer. I know that having an identity in God has helped me through a lot in
life.
But identity is something each person needs to find on their own.
Who are you?
Success, love, money, and things don’t define who you are. You do. You just need to be happy with
yourself and look beyond the surface to answer the question only you can answer.
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