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by EMILY MELTON
Lifestyles Editor
9 a.m.: After waking up to my cell phone alarm and several rounds of snoozing, I put in my contacts, brushed my teeth with Colgate toothpaste and splashed my face with the cold water from the running faucet in my bathroom.
9:15 a.m.: I opened the refrigerator door.
I pulled out a bag of store-bought Cinnamon Raisin bagels and stuck one in the toaster and spread it with store-bought strawberry cream cheese.
I scooped out a few pieces of ice and filled my glass with cranberry juice.
9:30 a.m.: I checked the news, checked my voicemail messages, checked my e-mail.
And now, here I am – on my computer, typing this column.
At
approximately 9:08 a.m., after brushing my teeth, my memory jumped to a
specific period in my life, a much-dreaded time, arguably an awful
experience, and anyone who went through the same would probably agree.
Braces: I hated them.
Just getting them put on was a horror in itself.
You lie
down in a comfortable chair, surrounded by colored walls, magazines,
stuffed animals and smiling faces with perfect, flawless teeth.
And then
begins the operation, and for hours, you sit under a fluorescent light
with cotton balls stuffed down the sides of your mouth, a metal rod
holding it open and saliva dripping from chapped lips to bib.
And
then, you finally emerge, donning a brand new set of silver, complete
with the band colors of your choice: purple, pink, blue, red or green,
or a mixture, if you so dare.
New set of braces, new you. Not so bad after all.
Until
the next day, when you wake with blisters and sores and an odd
awareness of what feels like a few hundred tiny little men stapling a
few hundred overwhelmingly large slabs of steel to your teeth.
Every
month afterward brings another visit to the dentist and another bout of
drilling, gluing and banding, until you finally get the blasted things
off, until you will never again experience the tiny little men ever
again.
You look
in the mirror, and you are free; your teeth are perfect and the
realization of perfection brings a glow to your face and a blush to
your cheeks.
Now, at
approximately 9:10 a.m., I was done thinking all of this, and I started
to wonder what life would be like without braces.
What would life be like without a whole bunch of other things, too?
Without
the luxury of waking up to a cell phone alarm, without Colgate
toothpaste or contacts or the cold running water from my faucet.
Without a refrigerator, without store-bought Cinnamon Raisin bagels or store-bought cream cheese.
Without a toaster, cranberry juice, ice.
Without a television for checking the news, without a computer to check my e-mail or Microsoft Word to type this column.
Life would certainly be a lot different.
For starters, there would be many more pairs of crooked teeth.
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