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'Pink Panther' disappoints fans of original film |
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Thursday, 16 February 2006 |
 | Michael Cooper
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Before I get to my review of the new “Pink Panther” film, I want to start off by saying that I was not at all surprised by how bad it was. Who honestly did not see that coming? That’s been par for the course lately with the movie mulligans.
“The Longest Yard” was awful, albeit a little entertaining, but still very much a disgrace to its predecessor. I imagine the people out in Hollywood figured that if Burt Reynolds was going to be in it again, then everything would be alright.
And then there was “The Bad News Bears.” I loved the original and think very highly of Walter Matthau’s work in it. Sadly enough, someone had to go and cast Billy Bob Thornton for the lead. Matthau was your stereotypical “lovable loser” and could not have found a more suitable role for his skills than Buttermaker.
Now, we get “The Pink Panther.” I would say it took a part of my soul, but I lost that three years ago when I bet it on a game of WCW Wrestling on the original Playstation.
For years, the “Pink Panther” movies have been one of my guilty pleasures in entertainment. My friends have a hard time watching them, either because they are too slow or they involve French people, and as Americans, we are by law required to hate all things French. Me, I still loved them.
 | | ©Sony Pictures |
In his defense, the utter ignominy of a flick that the new “Panther” can be called is not entirely Steve Martin’s fault. In fact, Martin might have been able to pull off the role as Inspector Jacques Clouseau 15 years ago. I was hoping he would bring a bit more effort to the table than he had been displaying in those “Cheaper by the Dozen” films.
Martin was not very good, to put it mildly, but this script is the one to blame. Peter Sellers made those first ones great with his offbeat sense of humor.
Even worse than casting Martin as Clouseau was the brilliant idea to replace the tiny Asian that assisted him. Instead a very aged and definitely past-his-prime Jean Reno took the spot.
The film’s plot is weaker than a 90-year-old woman and is far too predictable, It centers on the idea of Chief Inspector Dreyfus assigning Clouseau to a case he knows Clouseau will botch, so Dreyfus can take over, solve the case and win a medal. If Dreyfus were already in charge, why would he not just go ahead and solve it himself in the first place? It just does not make sense, even for a February movie.
Plain and simple, this movie should have never been made in the first place. Just look at the other classics that director Shawn Levy has been a part of: “Cheaper by the Dozen,” “Just Married” and “Big Fat Liar.” I think those speak for themselves.
But no, there is more. Levy was also involved such TV series as “The Famous Jett Jackson” and “Caitlin’s Way.” No wonder this movie stunk – it was directed by a babysitter.
Truthfully though, this film was bad because the geniuses who made it had no intentions of doing justice to the history and tradition of its past.
Beyonce Knowles would not have been within a 100 miles of its filming if they did.
Just like all the other retreads, this film was put out to make a quick buck, and it did at the expense of the real “Pink Panther” fans.
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